"Who's THIS guy?"

"On this day I see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind

On this day its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive"
-"Metalingus," Alter Bridge

Hello all. This be the Jakeman, and I be speakin,' just like the sign on the door says. Know it's been awhile, but between computer deficiencies and schedule backlogs that would make a college technical consultant blush (because really, aren't they the busiest people in America?), I haven't had a chance to just chill and get my thoughts down. So here goes.

The opening song of today's post is dedicated to new beginnings. The new semester has begun, and I swear I barely even noticed. For the first time in four years, I had so much else on my mind that I barely had time to get scared out of my mind before classes started and I had to take my yearly pilgrimage to the realm of the Domers. For example, I worked right up until the day before I had to leave, a first for me, so when I arrived back to campus I had no time to address the fact that I didn't have a key to get into my own house. See, Lockdaddy had a night of drunken escapades over the summer which resulted in him borrowing and then losing my key in a bar. So between the end of July and the end of August I was treated to no less than a half-dozen occasions where I was locked out of my own house. A couple times before 9:00 in the morning, and once it was even raining. I was never a huge Flintstones fan, so this did not fall into the area of wish fulfillment so much as raw, seething frustration. Finally, about a week into the new semester, Lockdaddy discovered a spare house key that he had in his room since the end of last semester that I could have been using the whole time. I'll let you dwell on that for a moment in the same way I did...

You back? Did you scream and holler? Break something? Speculate as to the value of human beings in the world? Yeah, me neither. As is my recent fashion, I let it slide. Lately I haven't been able to get mad at Lockdaddy for anything. Something inside just seems to cry out, "It's not gonna get you anywhere," and I believe it. Maybe I really am learning something about how to get along with people in a mature, adult fashion. Maybe after all this time, I'm starting to realize that all the b.s. my grade school teachers used to shove down my throat really had something to it. Think about it. What good can come of going off on someone for a wrong that has already been committed? They can't go back and change what happened no matter how pissed off you are or how justified you are in your anger. And maybe I used to be shallow enough to take satisfaction in the dressing-down of another soul, but anymore all I ever hear in my head when I get angry at someone is Randal from the movie Clerks: "I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?" Randal is a dick, but he has a good point. I've been saying jokingly that my policy for the year is going to be that I'm not going to be sorry for anything anymore. College is almost over and I need to live it up as much as I can. I'm too old and I have too much to do to waste my time on remorse. But I think my real policy is that I am not going to waste precious time being pissed at people.

For example, a couple weeks ago Lockdaddy had a whole mess of Glee Club guys over to our house for a cookout. I had no idea such an event was occurring, and was a bit put out seeing as I had brought Aiea with me to the house for a quiet respite. Then as I entered the house, one of said Glee Clubbers took a disapproving glance at me and whispered (a bit too loudly) to the person next to him, "Who's THIS guy?" I could have taken this very badly. I was not in a good mood seeing my house overrun with drunken womanizers to begin with, and I was interpreting the tone of this question as a rebuke; that this person was implying I didn't belong or wasn't worthy to be at my own house. I really wanted to cuss him out and tell him to leave my porch immediately. But my new instincts kicked in, I remembered Aiea was with me, and all I said was, "I live here," and kept walking. In all likelihood, this person just honestly didn't recognize me and wanted to know what mysterious gent was just strolling into his friends' house uninvited. And here I was going to start some big stink and make myself look like an ass in front of a mess of guys who probably would've ended up forcibly removing me from my own home, in front of my girlfriend no less. I'm still kinda stewing over the comment even now, but the important thing is that I haven't acted on my misplaced anger. I don't know if I feel better for it, but I know the consequences I avoided were well worth the effort.

So from now on, if I'm getting actively screwed over or disrespected and there's something I can do to stop the process, I will. But if I've already been slighted, I'm going to let it slide. Why say anything? The majority of the people I spend my time around either aren't going to be sorry for screwing me or are somehow going to turn my justified anger around and make me feel like the asshole. And I really hate that. So more power to Ms. Haddad, Mrs. Jurkowski and all the grade school administrators that told me anger never solved anything. Oh, and to that Jesus guy, 'cause I think he said something to that effect at some point too. I am firmly in your camp. Except for the whole no physical violence thing, that's still bullshit. Because even if I don't verbally go off on anyone this year, I still believe that a good ass-kicking will make me feel completely better. It's just a matter of when and where I can't take it anymore. You've been warned.

Quick hits and naughty bits (of information, you sicko):

-I recently updated my facbook profile to reflect my current tastes in media. Namely, Cake has vaulted up to the top of my rankings for favorite musical artist after playing a stellar set at The Show two weeks ago. I always enjoy live music by legitimate artists so much that it puzzles me how rarely I make it to concerts. Cake played a perfect concert by my standards; they sounded just as good live as on recording, if not better, they got the crowd involved and seemed to genuinely appreciate the outstanding response they got, they played all of their well-known hits from the past and mixed them in with new stuff effectively enough to make me desire their new album, and they were classy enough to leave the stage, not assume an encore, hear the raucous cheers beckoning them back to the front and then return to rock our socks off yet again with the one old favorite they hadn't yet played. As a sidenote, Akon was an excellent opening act and gets an A+ for his onstage antics. I was particularly fond of him bringing 5 girls onstage for a belly dance-off, making fun of his keyboard player's ineffective sign that he wanted water, and his choice to stop in the middle of the show to tie his shoes. I even liked "Mr. Lonely" the 5,716th time I heard it. Good Show to all.

-I also added Crash, Wedding Crashers and Batman Begins to my favorite movies list. Runners-up who got votes from voices in my head but did not make the list include Fantastic Four, Cinderella Man, Must Love Dogs, The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Star Wars: Episode III. Purposely and definitively left off the list were Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and March of the Penguins, officially voted as Jakeman Busts for the summer movie season. Johnny Depp and the one Oompa Loompa were a bit TOO freaky for my taste, and March of the Penguins was a fucking nature documentary that I had to pay $8 to see. Jake not happy. I also anticipate Sin City could make the list if I ever get to see it.

-Speaking of The Show, I am very thankful that Aiea has been dragging me out of my hole on St. Louis Blvd. (pronounced "bli-vid") and forcing me to get some culture. Her choices have been outstanding. First there was The Show, which I chose to attend instead of DeKalb Corn Fest. This was a very hard decision to make, no doubt, especially since I missed Night Ranger on the 2nd Street sound stage, but it turned out to be one I am very satisfied with. We also attended the summer Shakespeare rendition of Henry V, which I loved and may have been my favorite Shakespeare performance ever. There aren't many to compare it to, to be sure, but it was still excellent. Not until I see Shakespeare performed do I fully appreciate his genius for writing every genre: drama, action, romance, suspense, fantasy, tragedy and even comedy. You know some might say that the lighter tone of the last scene of Henry V detracts from the greater themes of the play, especially if it is done as an antiwar statement. I however was damned glad it was there after sitting through a heavy 3 and a half hours of France vs. England, the bloodsport at Agincourt. It was that scene that really solidifed my approval of the production as a whole. Check my facebook quote for a taste. Oh, and Fluellen is my new favorite "badass with a sharp wit" character, right up there with Wolverine and John McClane from Die Hard. And after Henry V, there was Toxic Audio at the DPAC last Friday night. A capella groups are not usually my taste (Undertones, I'm looking at you), but this one is the real deal. I can see why they've had the success they've had in Vegas, as their show really does appeal to all musical and comedic tastes. I agree with the Observer's assertions: don't bring the kiddies, but otherwise for a night at the theater you can't beat these vocal artists. I sound like a damn travel brochure. But if you get the chance, see them live. They're okay on CD, but much more entertaining in person. Except for the scatting, there was too damn much of that considering no black people are in the group.

-Not much of note going on in WWE, as far as I'm concerned. Smackdown moved to Fridays, so...I'll still never be able to watch it. Besides, they've been doing the same four matches for about two months now and it's starting to get year-old Cheerios stale. They need to give Eddie Guerrero his program with Batista, then move to Randy Orton and hurry. And could Rey Misterio get a title run sometime soon, please? Aren't we ready to move past his size limitations and just accept that he's just as over as any face on the show? Raw goes back to USA on Oct. 3, which is good because the lead-in programming will be a lot better than the stuff on Spike TV. USA has the best dramas on cable right now, so they may as well add the retarded, trailer park drama that is sportz entertainment to the roster. I hear that Hogan, Austin and Foley are going to be at the USA premiere. Cool, but I gotta say I'm sick enough of the trouble Hogan causes and his horrible matches that I'm not entirely excited of the prospect of Hogan vs. Austin at WM 22. Well, it is in Chicago and I could possibly get tickets, so scratch that. I'm very excited about it. And Mick Foley has a new contract. Great, but who is there left for him to make into a star? The last one he tried didn't even take because they pushed Randy Orton too fast. Who's he gonna job to now, Carlito? Chris Masters? And don't tell me Ric Flair, because I don't think it's worth the backstage trouble. Actual heat between wrestlers does not make for gold medal storylines. Look at Edge vs. Matt Hardy. No, really look at it and be honest with yourself. It was interesting for a couple weeks, but now it's devolved into the same old unrealistic crap. I'm glad Kurt Angle has the next title shot at John Cena. He's right, he deserves to be champ more than anyone on the show, and he is the best heel in the business when he gets a chance. I hope he gets one more title run before his neck makes him retire. I will miss Chris Jericho; he was criminally misused for about the last 4 years. Oh, and HHH is coming back at the premiere, too. I gotta say, his absence was real nice while it lasted. Watch your back, Cena.

-The White Sox were nauseatingly close to a full-scale collapse just a couple weeks ago, but now they seem to be back on track. A few more wins against quality opposition (not the Tigers and Royals, thank you), and I might even start to get confident about their playoff chances. I mean, no joke, I'm alreday predicting they beat the Cardinals in 6 to take the World Series, I'm just not entirely comfortable with saying that yet. I'm really hoping against hope that the pitching staff can sustain the good run they're on until the end of October. I know that's a long time, and I know there's a lot of factors that could prevent it from happening, but I'm going to try to ignore those factors and just pray a little bit every day before I check the last night's score. The way things are now, I can see the Sox sending five sure thing starters into a series and dominating, Scotty Pods and Tads Iguchi jump-starting the offense, Konerko slugging everything in sight, key hits coming from Dye, Everett, Rowand and Pierzynski, and Dustin Hermanson closing things out without incident all the way through the postseason. And I just want that vision to remain stuck in my head until it's close to a reality. That too much to ask?

-Oh yeah, the Cubs. Um, yeah...so, moving on!

-I know it's criminal that the Irish football team has sunk so low on my blog after that quality whoopin' of Pitt last week, but I gotta be honest, my priorities are elsewhere. I mean, I did buy tickets this year, but I'm selling them at $200 profit for goodness' sake(I'll pause while you throw garbage at your monitor). I just can't get behind them this year as I have in the past, because as much as I want them to spank USC, pistol whip Purdue (are they even playing them this year?) and send BYU back to their cult commune wishing they had taken the Kool-Aid, even if they win the national title I can't get too happy. Why? The firing of Ty still has me steamed, and out of principle I can't fully support Charlie Weis. Ever. Well, I'll be honest, if they win it all I will probably get quite insanely giddy, but other than that, I'll almost feel worse if they have a good year. I'll have to say well, administration, I hope you're happy. You sold our program's reputation for being more respectable than a state school in exchange for 8-10 wins and a bowl. Congrats, I hope the piles of money you use for beds make it easy to sleep at night.

-Bears season starts Sunday. I almost can't put my feelings into words. I'm so excited to see them play that I can hardly stand it; I really think the potential for a good year is there and I want it so badly I can taste it. I want to see Kyle Orton emerge as a phenom and throw TD passes to Moose Muhammad all day. I want either Thomas Jones OR Cedric Benson or even Adrian Peterson to run all over everybody. Hell, all three of them can. I want Brian Urlacher to make good on his goal and become the best defensive player in the world. I want Mike Brown to realize his potential and be an All-Pro safety that QBs and WRs alike fear in the depths of their souls. I want Adewale Ogunleye, Alex Brown and Tommie Harris to have 25 sacks or more between them. And I know I can't see all of this happen unless I watch. Only one thing scares me. What if none of it happens?

Peace. Out. GO IRISH, BEAT WOLVERINES!

~Jake