Dancin' in the Streets

Guess who's back in the mutha f***in' house,
With a fat d*** fo' yo' mutha f***in' mouth?
-Snoop Dogg

And the answer to that musical question would be me, the Jakeman. In not so many words. And man, has it been a while since I could sit down and collect my thoughts in a proper cyber-forum. See, the thing with my parents' internet access is that it isn't so much functional as...not. So for the last four weeks I have been more or less cut off from the 'net and all its wonders. Long enough that I bet I'm the only one who even remembers that this blog exists. Oh well, it's the world's loss, I guess.

When last I wrote, I was in near-ecstasy over the Bulls' return to the playoffs. Proof that good things never last. And before anyone gets all up in my area, saying I predicted they were going all the way, and that another dynasty was being born, let me just remind you: I only said that this year's Bulls squad reminded me of the glory days. That's all. I didn't say they could hang with Detroit, Miami, San Antonio or even Phoenix. I didn't say Ben Gordon was as good as Michael Jordan like some dopes in Chicago. I just said they had the makings of a very well-balanced, fun team to watch--much like the Bulls of the 90's. That being said, they still should've at least beaten the Wizards. And I think the Heat more than proved that point by putting the Wizz (like the Grizz from Memphis; rhymes with gis!) over their proverbial knee and spanking them in 4 games; without all that much help from Shaq, no less! The latest drama has been the re-signing of the man truly responsible for the Bulls' sudden return to respectability, head coach Scott Skiles. For those who didn't hear about it, let me sum it up with a little help from newspaper columnist and radio personality Rick Telander. Rick went on vacation from his radio station, WSCR 670 in Chicago, last Thursday secure in the fact that the Bulls were attempting to renegotiate Skiles' contract. It was supposed to be an easy process; Skiles ended 7 years of senseless suffering by taking the Bulls from the NBA's gutter straight to the #4 seed in the Eastern conference, so he deserved to get more money and a longer deal for his efforts. Rick came back to work last night and the deal was finally done. What happened in the 5 days in between was a senseless waste that proved nothing to no one. The only important thing is that someone wised up and got the one guy in 7 years who has figured out how to bring the Bulls' untapped potential together into a winning record a deal everyone could live with. Skiles is now overpaid, but so is everyone else in pro sports. Bottom line: I'm happy, as all Bulls fans should be. And remember: the dynastic Bulls had to get to the playoffs first before they won their championships. Every journey has a first step, and I think the Bulls may have just taken that all-important second step.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice...(quick thoughts now commencing):

-The White Sox are still the best team in the majors. And I swear I cannot watch one game without thinking, "How can this team be winning so much?" But, I guess it just wouldn't be the Sox if they weren't doing it the ugly way. And I already miss Hawk's White Sox eyepatch. "Stretch!"

-The Cubs, meanwhile, completed a West Coast roadtrip that would've made Ozzie Guillen weep for joy, took the NL Wild Card lead, and have promptly come home and lost 2 out of 3 to the Blue Jays before Sergio Mitre threw 7 innings of 2-hit, shutout ball and doubled off of Roy Halladay to prevent a sweep. "Jake confused." Seriously, this team makes my head hurt. But I'll keep watching in hopes that they win the Series just so I can see Kerry Wood and Mark Prior's wives jumping for joy (hoooottttttt!).

-WWE Raw hasn't been all bad lately. Hasn't been all good, either. Word. But I like the shakeup of bringing John Cena to Monday nights to face off with Christian in-ring and on the mic. Even if it does mean either HHH or his unwilling slave Batista are going to Smackdown to become the resident locker room dickhead. I mean, yeah, it might be Dave's only chance to get out from under the Game's thumb, then again it might only encourage him to follow his mentor's lead. I was so hopeful when ol' Big Nose said he was leaving the show, I knew it was too good to be true. I'm still hoping the draft will give me Rey Misterio vs. HBK and Shelton Benjamin vs. Eddie Guerrero somewhere down the line.

-In related news, I think I'm going to miss the ECW pay-per-view this Sunday, and I'm disappointed. I am really excited for this concept even though I think WWE's creative team (and talent) are going to be too involved and despite the fact that I was very scared ECW was going to become the norm and overtake WWE and WCW in the late 90's. I loved the ECW DVD as much as anyone; I thought it was the best WWE has ever made and it made me wish I had watched more of ECW. Plus I miss Tazz being in the ring, he's a bad ass. Thus I hope to see this show somehow very soon after it takes place. Unless Scott Keith tells me it's abominable. He's always right.

-When and if I get some extra money this year, I am buying one or many of the following:
Wrestlemania 21 , ECW One Night Stand and Wrestling Stars of the 1980's on DVD
Tickets to Wrestlemania 22 in Chicago
Dave Matthews Band's new CD and tickets to see them in concert
White Sox tickets (Yeeesss!)
A Blockbuster game pass
An iPod (I gotta admit I really want one) or a PSP
Some video game that will occupy way too much of my time (hopefully not sports-related, but probably so)
Issues of House of M, Infinite Crisis and all their tie-ins plus either Maximum Carnage or Onslaught in paperback
A car (don't tell Kota, but she's getting old)
Any help at my birthday or Christmas would be appreciated, but definitely not expected.

-Summer movie picks:
Crash--excellent; go and leave your misconceptions about the absence of racism in America at the door. You'll learn a lot.
Kingdom of Heaven--one prominent director I worked with said it brought Jerusalem alive like never before. Nice fight scenes, well paced, good editing. Interesting, gritty cinematography. I loved Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons, as usual. Not as good as Gladiator or Braveheart, better than Troy. Recommended, especially for ladies with an Orlando Bloom fetish.
Madagascar--cute, family fun, but nothing more. My sense of humor has become too jaded to find it all that funny. But David Schwimmer and Chris Rock in the same movie is a worthwhile novelty.
The Longest Yard--okay, so maybe I was blinded by my geeky love for the wrestlers in this movie (Goldberg, Kevin Nash, Stone Cold, kickboxer Bob Sapp may as well be), but I thought it was great. It wasn't Scorcese, but I'm sucker for a well-utlized cast: Chris Rock gets to say n****r a lot, Burt Reynolds doesn't try to seem younger or cooler than he is, and James Cromwell is positively lovely to hate. I even liked Michael Irvin and Nelly, as they were used just enough not to be exposed. Sandler was a little forced as usual, and I don't buy him as an athlete, but this was at the very least a big step in the right direction after his last few suckfests (Little Nicky, 8 Crazy Nights, Mr. Deeds, anyone?). The better of Rock's two films.
Star Wars: Episode III--worth the wait. Not a blowaway orgy of greatness, but it did what it needed to do and was very cool on a dark, creepy level as promised. A happy ending would have helped, but I've been saying that since Mike Beverley spoiled the ending for me after Episode I came out. Sets up Episodes IV-VI perfectly. Ewan McGregor was superb, and Samuel L. was way too badass to get punked out the way he did. You don't do a brother like that.
Cinderella Man--best movie of the year. Oscar worthy as a film, and Russell Crowe and Paul Giamatti deserve nods for Actor and Supporting. Very well directed, too, as it was emotionally engaging without being too ridiculously melodramatic. Had me on the edge of my seat (only because I didn't review my boxing history, an oversight I recommend to anyone who wants to see it). And yes, I have to say it: I liked it better than Rocky. Maybe it's just because Jim Braddock was Irish, but I stick to my opinion.

-Summer movie wish list:
Batman Begins--could very possibly make me forget all the other movies listed above.
Fantastic Four--'cause it's Marvel Comics characters, and I just gotta.
Wedding Crashers--looks like another smash from the Old School/Dodgeball/Anchorman crew.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith--more Vince Vaughn smarmy jackass goodness along with Angelina Jolie being the sexiest I've seen her yet. Who cares if Brad Pitt's in it (no one leaves my Jen Aniston and gets off easy, punk)?
Must Love Dogs--adult John Cusack is the man. Teen whiner John Cusack, not so much, but adult John Cusack...
some stuff in August (?)--not enough info yet, but Brothers Grimm, The Island, Romance and Cigarettes, Valiant, 2046 and 3001 could be cool...(one of the last two has to be; I mean the title of both movies is a year, how cool is that?).

-TV: who's got time? Reality shows continue to suck. I will miss Cartoon Network mucho if I don't have cable this summer.

-Aiea: here's the lowdown for those who don't know. She's my girlfriend, I met her during the musical at Saint Mary's, she's a theatre major and an awesome actor, she's living and acting in Lansing, Michigan for the summer, she's very pretty, and I like her a whole big lot. And I miss her.

That's it. Wow, that was supposed to be a quick one. But you know me. Or do you?

Peace out!

You can drive a million miles tonight, but you can't get very far.
-Counting Crows